On the Road
by wishingforatypewriter
Summary: As unfortunate as it was, Alice knew her Uncle Azami. And she knew that whatever he had promised about the regimental shokugeki that would decide all of their fates, he could not be trusted to fight fair. So Tōtsuki's rebel forces were on the move.
1. On the Road

**On the Road**

As unfortunate as it was, Alice knew her Uncle Azami. And she knew that whatever he had promised about the regimental shokugeki that would decide all of their fates, he could not be trusted to play fair. So as they followed Yukihira and Erina's train to the site of the battle to come, Alice and the other rebels were doing all that they could to thwart his efforts.

"Any updates, Hishoko-chan?" she asked as she watched the secretary type on two laptops at once while speaking into a headset.

After placing her call on hold, Hisako looked up with a sigh. "It seems that Azami-senpai has bribed the fishermen to give Yukihira and the others subpar ingredients."

"That again?" she groaned. "Just them we'll double it!"

Nodding, Hisako returned to her call, all the while emailing the hunters and the noodle vendors. Counter-corruption was a harder business than it got credit for. "Is there any way we can—" she trailed off and then heaved a great sigh. "I see. We'll be there first thing tomorrow. Thank you for your cooperation."

"What was that about?" Alice questioned.

"They'll take the counter bribe, but we have to pay with cash in person."

Alice rubbed at her temples and the pen plopped dramatically down onto one of the couches. "Ryo-kun, how far are we from the coast?"

"Far, milady Alice," he replied.

"That's just great." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Hishoko-chan, order a car to intercept us in the morning."

"I don't work for you," the pink haired girl reminded her for the umpteenth time, even as she phoned their usual car service.

The following day, just as the dawn began to dye the horizon in its morning colors, the high speed train pulled into a station. Before the others could wake, Alice, Hisako, Ryo, and Hayama got off and piled into the sleek black car that waited for them.

Settling into the cushioned seats, Alice gave a dainty yawn and rested her head on Ryo's bicep. She had never been an early riser. "Wake me up when we get there."

Sighing, Hisako sipped tea from her travel mug and retread the texts she had exchanged with Erina the night before. Her friend was being so strong, using a terrible situation to learn a different style of cooking, to fall in love with her craft all over again. Watching the snow-dusted landscape zoom by, Hisako tried to muster her resolve. If she wanted to be someone worthy of walking beside Erina, she couldn't let herself fall any further behind.

After about an hour the vehicle pulled to a stop. The driver looked back at the group of former students. "This is as far as I can take the car," he said. "There's too much ice ahead, no roads."

"How far is it from here?" Hayama asked.

"About twelve, maybe thirteen kilometers."

Alice, who was just rubbing her eyes glanced up. "You mean thirteen _meters_ , right?" That was doable.

The driver smiled sheepishly. "No, ma'am, kilometers."

Ryo exchanged a glance with Hayama, the two coming to an unspoken consensus. "We'll go. You two can just wait here," Ryo said. He opened the door and picked up the chrome briefcase holding the ¥2,3000,000 that would counter Azami's bribe.

"That's not happening," Alice said. "There's no way I'm gonna just sit back while Erina and the others are fighting!"

Ryo sighed. "You're going to complain about it later."

"I won't." Alice's cheeks were beginning to puff up. He could see that there would be arguing with her.

"Do you two even understand how how far that is?" Hayama questioned. Given their background, he doubted that either of them ever had to walk half as far.

"It's fine," Hisako snapped before stepping out of the car. "I'd walk all the way back to Tokyo for Erina-sama's sake."

"No one's stopping you," the spice prodigy murmured, but she was already too far ahead to hear it. He got it—he had betrayed Yukihira and the others. He didn't deserve to be there, but Alice had dragged him along anyway. Out of everyone, Arato had been the coldest to him since the rebels assembled, and if he cared just a little bit more he'd be sick of it.

They started to trek through the snow, the cold numbing their feet in their boots, and as was wholly anticipated, about thirty minutes into the journey Alice began to whine.

"Why does it have to be so cold?" she groaned.

"You lived in Copenhagen," Ryo reminded her.

"I was used to it then," she replied. "But now I can't feel my face." And somehow after a few more minutes she was riding on his back, her face buried into his shoulder to protect her from the biting wind.

Hisako watched them with an incredulous expression on her face. She knew husbands who didn't dote on their wives half as much. "It's his fault she's like that," she said, mostly to herself.

"Entirely," Hayama agreed, before he could think better of it. Hisako debated whether or not she would ignore him. Considering the hours of trekking they had ahead, she decided against it.

"It's a strange dynamic." Even after living with them at the mansion for over a year, she couldn't tell if the withdrawn boy was Alice's boyfriend or her butler. Probably both, in some capacity. "Do you think Azami's going to stop at this."

"Probably not," Hayama leveled. "If nothing else that man...knows how to create an impossible situation."

Hisako's eyebrows raised slightly at this. "Then why'd you work for him?" All of the rebels had been wondering since they found out about the battle between him and Souma, but no one had the gall to ask. "Were you that desperate to join the Elite Ten."

"It's complicated—"

"Right." The secretary's tone turned icy. "Someone as limited as me would never understand."

Hayama pinched the bridge of his nose; he really _had_ pissed that girl off back in the fall. He supposed that he should start being a bit nicer to people—redemption arc and all—even though his criticisms tended to be spot on. "Look, back then I didn't mean it that—"

"Yes, you did," she quipped, stuffing her hands into her pocket and suppressing a shiver. "And you were right, so it's fine."

A silence fell between them, only the wind and the wet crushing sound of boots in the snow to be heard for miles. Then, "He threatened the seminar—stole the research."

"Oh." Hisako nodded. She would have done the same thing in that position, if some dear thing of Erina's hung in the balance, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of saying so.

After that the wind picked up. The temperature dropped. Hisako's eyes started to water and she was sure the tears were freezing on her eyelashes.

"You alright, Arato?"

"I'm f-fine," she said in a voice only a touch above a whisper. Her shivers were becoming ever harder to suppress. "Erina-s-sama and the others are giving their all, s-so I can't complain."

Hayama shook his head; he would never understand this woman. But still, he took off his burgundy scarf and held it out to her.

Hisako blinked, surprised. "Don't you need—"

"It'll be a hassle if you get yourself sick while we're only halfway there. Just take it."

A thousand and one retorts—most of them having to do with the how the transmission of viral infections actually worked—ran through Hisako's mind, but in the end she only rolled her eyes. Then she took the scarf and wrapped it around her neck and the lower half of her face. It had a nice scent—spicy, aromatic—but she supposed that was to be expected. If the wind hadn't already reddened her nose and cheeks, she might have blushed. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it."

Hisako didn't, but Alice certainly would whenever she turned around or got down from Kurokiba's back. No doubt she was already planning a way to get them airlifted to the train for their trip back.

 **Author's Notes:** Thanks for reading, everyone! Have a great day.


	2. In Close Quarters

**In Close Quarters**

So, there were twelve people living on a train. And the thing about that was that no matter how luxurious the train (and luxurious it was) and how discrete the people (and honestly, most of them weren't all that discrete), they were all bound to learn things about their classmates that they would never have known otherwise.

Some of those things, Ryouko mused, were pretty damn gross. For example, Daigo trimming his nose hair—not something she ever wanted to see again. In fact, for a good week afterwards she was pretty sure she didn't want to see _anything_ ever again.

But other things were more pleasant.

Ryouko sipped at her coffee, crossing one leg over the other as she gazed over the rails. For some reason, the person who designed the train placed the breakfast nook right above the exercise room. So whenever she got up early, Ryouko got a front row seat watching Kurokiba Ryo work out. And more often than not—always, if she were to be honest—Kurokiba-kun worked out without shirt on.

As was often the case with such good news, word spread fast.

"Look at those arms," Ikumi marveled as she spread apricot jam on her toast. She worked out a little bit herself—she had to in order to butcher meat as well as she did—but she had to admire his athleticism, his physique. The things one didn't notice while he was acting as Nakiri Alice's shadow.

"Look, look," Yuki interjected, "he's switching to the one handed push-ups."

The three girls were silent for a moment, and then they released a collective sigh.

"Don't let Alice catch you," Hisako cautioned as she made her way up the stairs. The secretary then put on a fresh pot of coffee.

"Alice-chi watches with us whenever she wakes up early enough," Yuki informed her.

"That does sound like her," Hisako admitted.

"Pull up a chair, Arato-san," Ikumi said, flipping through the pages of the Tōtsuki newspaper in front of her. How Alice managed to get it delivered to them all the way in Hokkaido, the world may never know.

"We have a great view," Ryouko added.

Hisako shook her head and gave a tiny shrug. "I've seen it before. Not interested."

"Would you wanna watch if it were Hayama-kun?" Ikumi teased.

The pink haired girl rolled her eyes. "Look, I don't know how Alice mislead you, but I don't have anything to do with that person."

"So you weren't wearing his scarf the other day?"

Honestly, she would have just stayed cold if she'd known people would still be talking about it a whole week later. "It was only for a few hours. I was freezing. He was just being a gentleman."

"So, Erina's secretary-chi is into chivalry," Yuki observed. "I never thought you were that type."

"I'm not," she huffed. "And I wouldn't say he's that type either."

Ikumi blinked once. Twice. "But then doesn't that mean-"

"Look," Hisako said as she poured her coffee into a white porcelain mug. "Even if I was interested in love right now, which I am not, he isn't my type at all."

Ryouko raised an eyebrow, then she and Yuki exchanged an incredulous look. "Why not?"

"Well, for one thing, he's arrogant." She started to pace, beverage in hand as she ticked items off the list in her mind—a list she'd recited far too many times since Alice started questioning her. "And he's mean, and elitist, and pretentious, and he thinks he can speak to people however he wants just because he happens to have an abnormally good sense of smell." Hisako glanced up when she heard the other three girls start to giggle. "What?"

"Nothing," Ikumi said.

Hisako narrowed her eyes. "I'm leaving."

"Wait," the meat master continued, smirking as the Arato heiress paused. "It's just...think about what you just said and replace sense of smell with sense of taste. Who do you get?"

Hisako grew quiet, slowly realizing what they were getting at. "Oh my god, no! No! That person is absolutely NOTHING like Erina-sama!"

"When you think about it, he's kind of like the male version of Erina-chi," Yuki added.

"I resent that comparison, Yoshino-san!" Hisako cried, her face flushing. "Erina-sama is a pure and admirable soul! One cannot help but adore her magnificence. He, on the other hand-"

"Arato-san," Ryouko spoke up, her eyes suddenly wide. "You-"

"For the last time, there is absolutely nothing I like about Hayama-kun!"

And then Hisako sensed more than saw him standing behind her, smirking in that self-satisfied way of his. "Good morning to you too, Arato."

Hisako turned around slowly and saw him, shirtless, hair unbound and dripping from the shower. She quickly looked down to avoid his teasing, green-eyed gaze, her cheeks burning. Ikumi, Ryouko, and Yuki, who'd all previously had so much to say, fell silent.

"J-just shut up and get your coffee," she said, cursing the fact that she had put on his favorite blend subconsciously. In retrospect, that was probably what had lured him up there.

"Whatever you want," he said, deciding to pass up this particular opportunity to tease her.

"And put on a shirt!" she admonished before she could help it. "It's below freezing outside."

Nope. Never mind. She made it too easy. "Do you always nag like this, or is it just with people you hate?"

"That's not what I said. I just-"

And then he was smirking at her again, and some involuntary force turned her lips upward into a half-smile. "I'm kidding, Arato."

She crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to be baited any further. But despite herself, Hisako found herself watching him reach for a mug and pour the coffee, his toned back muscles in full view. Though she'd never admit it to Ikumi and the Polar Star girls, he was good looking—sexy even.

She gave her head a rigorous shake. _Sexy?_ Since when was that word even in her vocabulary? Being separated from Erina for so long was surely taking a toll on her sanity.

When that troublesome spice person finally left, Ikumi and company were grinning like imps. Hisako rolled her eyes. "I don't know what could possibly be funny."

"Well, we found one thing you like," Yuki joked. "I don't think I've ever seen Erina's secretary-chi so flustered."

...

Well into the afternoon, just after she emerged from the bath in her terry cloth robe, Nakiri Alice was brought a full English breakfast by her loyal aide.

"Ryo-kun," she said as she started nibbling a piece of toast. "Why do you always make so much when you know I can't finish it?"

Wordlessly, he stole a piece of bacon from the platter.

"Then just make your own!" She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you're so unprofessional. You should try to be a little formal, like Erina's secretary."

"Ok." Next, he went for two of the eggs.

Alice shook her head, knowing her efforts were futile. He could eat the whole world after a good workout. "At least give the fork back."

After bringing a grilled tomato to her mouth, Alice recalled something that Erina has said once—that sharing a fork with a boy was an indirect kiss. It was probably something she had picked up in one of those sappy shoujo manga she liked. Erina would probably have six heart attacks if she ever found out how much saliva she and Ryo had swapped over the years. Alice sighed. She was actually starting to miss her.

"Ryo-kun," she said. "Distract me. What was all the noise about earlier? Were the girls watching you work out again?"

"Is that what they're always doing up there?"

"Of course you wouldn't notice something like that." She gave a little lilting laugh. "But something out of the ordinary must have happened. I woke up twice to Hishoko-chan yelling."

"Hayama came and pissed her off," he said. "Or turned her on, or something."

Alice gave an impatient huff. "Well, which was it?"

"I wouldn't know." He shrugged. "Both, probably. Like with your cousin and Yukihira."

Alice stared at him incredulously. "E...Erina and...WHAAAAAAAAT? How did I never think of that before? Ryo-kun, you're a genius!"

And that, of course, was how Kurokiba Ryo unwittingly released a deluge of teasing and pestering into the life of the other Nakiri heiress.

 **Author's Notes** : Thanks for reading, everyone! Please let me know if I should continue this and what kinds of interactions you'd like to see in the future (More of Hisako freaking out? Some Ryoali fluff? Souma and Erina via FaceTime?) Have a good weekend!


	3. Up All Night

Erina always went to bed early. She'd conditioned herself to do this for two reasons. First because for most of her life, her responsibilities as the heir of the Nakiri family required her to be up before seven almost every morning. And secondly because people—mainly Alice and the Polar Star crowd—got up to some really weird shit after hours. But despite her conditioning, Erina found herself wandering towards the kitchen car of her luxury train at a quarter to three in the morning. She wanted a snack. Usually she would just send a text to Hisako and ask her to bring something, but because her father never knew when to stop, Hisako wasn't there. Conceivably, she could've just asked Tadokoro-san to bring her something, or Aldini-kun, but if it ever got back to Hisako that someone else had temporarily replaced her, the medicinal chef would probably fall into an existential crisis. So, Erina shuffled along in her pale yellow nightgown, absently rubbing her eyes.

When she reached the kitchen, Yukihira-kun was still there, no doubt testing out flavor combinations that would make all the world's gourmands recoil in horror.

"Oh, you're up early, Nakiri," he said.

"What are you even doing?" she asked, her arms folded over her chest. He had melted chocolate out on the counter, along with popcorn, tortilla chips, and a fondue pot bubbling with soft cheeses.

"You ever go to the movies and not know which snacks to order?"

"No," she replied. She rarely had time for pedestrian entertainment, but if there was ever something she really wanted to see, her grandfather would have a private screening arranged at the mansion.

"Well, imagine the ultimate movie snack."

Erina tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Beluga whale caviar and crackers?"

Souma glanced at her, his eyes narrowed as enlightenment fell upon him. "So this is what it's like to have no childhood."

"Excuse me? Who had no childhood?"

"You hungry, Nakiri?" he asked, quickly changing the subject.

Erina was ready to refuse. She had just drawn a breath to tell him she had zero interest in whatever vending machine fare he was concocting when her stomach decided to betray her. The growl was loud and lengthy, proclaiming her hunger to the entire world.

"M-maybe a little bit, I guess," she said as her cheeks reddened. "But I won't deal with any of your crude experiments. Not at this hour."

"Alright." The transfer student smirked, unfazed as ever by her admonishments. "Another opportunity to make you admit that my food is delicious."

"First of all, that is never going to happen." Erina gave her hair a quick flip to punctuate her point. "And second, while I've had to endure your second rate recipes on multiple occasions, you've never tried anything of mine. At least not in any formal context."

He paused. "So—"

"So sit down," she said. "I'm cooking."

She ended up making a trio of bruschetta—a traditional one with with tomato and basil, a savory one with salmon roe and turnips, a sweet one with persimmons and camembert cheese.

"Nakiri," Souma said after tasting them. "You just made a three course meal out of toast."

"And what's wrong with that?" she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. "It's a completely rational culinary move, unlike your haphazard style of cooking."

"It's a good idea," he said, and Erina rolled her eyes. His selective hearing knew no bounds. "And it's tasty."

Erina turned up her nose and cursed the blush that was quickly overtaking her face. Some of the finest chefs on the face of the planet have prostrated themselves in the face of her superior skills, so the approval of someone like him shouldn't matter at all. "Well, naturally. You'd do well not to underestimate me."

"Of course, Nakiri," he said. "You're my competition for the first seat."

"As long as we're clear." Then she sighed. "I wonder what Alice and the others are up to right now."

"Don't you watch her story?"

"For the last time, I am not making a Snapchat!" Erina shook her head. Why was everyone in her class obsessed with that social media platform? Even before the expulsions, her cousin had pestered her about it every single day. "It's an unnecessary distraction that takes up time that could be otherwise used on serious matters."

"Like reading romance manga?"

"Mind your business, Yukihira!" she shouted, her hands balled into fists. "At least I don't walk around in pajamas until two in the afternoon."

"You should try it," he said. "It's comfortable."

"It's common," she replied. "If you want to be taken seriously by members of high society, you should really try to…" Erina paused when she saw that he was no longer listening to her. His eyes were glued to his phone instead. "Hey! At least pay attention when I'm giving you advice."

"Oh, sorry Nakiri," he said, scratching the back of his head. "I just got like ten Snaps from Alice and I kinda spaced out."

For some reason, the idea that her cousin had distracted him annoyed Erina to no end. "What were they about anyway?" she asked.

"Well, from what I can tell, Arato just punched Hayama in the face."

"WHAT?"

"You really do need to make a Snapchat, Nakiri."'

* * *

"Just admit you have a thing for her," Alice told Hayama as they got back on the train after another late night mission to counter-bribe an ingredient supplier.

"I don't," he said. "You're the only one who has time to think about things like that."

Alice smirked at this. "So if you had the time you would—"

"No."

"Well, why not?" she asked. "I know she's pretty high-strung, but Hishoko's a catch. Tell him Ryo-kun."

"I guess," Ryo said, and it was clear that he was paying absolutely no attention to the conversation. "Milady, I'm going to bed. You need anything else?"

"No, that's fine," she said. Alice waited until _just_ after he was gone to turn to the spice expert. "Hey, Hayama-kun…"

"What do you want?"

"Don't be so rude," Alice chided, puffing her cheeks up in that childish way of hers. "I am the leader of the your faction, after all."

"That's not a thing—"

"Anyway," she interrupted. "I was just going to ask you to go into the kitchen and make me a cup of tea."

"Can't you go yourself?"

"No," she replied, pointing to her face. "I need to exfoliate and moisturize. It's a time sensitive matter."

"Then why didn't you ask Kurokiba while he was here?"

"Because Ryo-kun deserves a break every now and then." Alice crossed her arms and gazed up at him. "It'll take you longer to stand here and argue with me than it will to just do me this favor," she said.

Hayama sighed, his eyes drawing closed. It was a shame how true that was. "Fine. What kind of tea do you want?"

"Just that rare barrel-aged tulsi and ginger tea. You know, the one in the old-timey bamboo tea box."

Hayama's left eye began to twitch a little. He should have figured it would be something like that. "That's definitely Arato's."

"And she won't get as mad if it's you taking it."

Of all the boldfaced lies…

Hayama sighed. At least after she cursed him out for touching her rare and absurdly expensive tea, Alice might stop thinking something was going on between them. "Fine."

When Alice went up to her room, Hayama made his way through the series of first floor rooms that led to the main kitchen. And because the universe clearly hated him, when he reached one of the living rooms, he found none other than Arato Hisako passed out on the floor. She still had her bluetooth in, and two open laptops and three piles of documents were clustered around her. She also looked precariously close to rolling over and crushing the glasses that were slowly sliding down her nose. Hayama hated his mind for going there, he truly did, but she did kind of remind him of Jun when she was like that.

Nakiri Alice's traps knew no bounds, but he still wouldn't be bested.

With a world-weary sigh, he went over to one of the linen closets and platonically grabbed a blanket. He draped it over her in the most unromantic way imaginable, and did not notice that she smiled a little when he did. Then, with the utmost caution, he reached down to take the glasses off her.

And then she swung on him. Hard.

The sound of Alice's cackling could be heard from the doorway. It probably woke every first year on the train—except Hisako, who, unburdened by her glasses, rolled over and kept sleeping soundly.

 **Author's Notes:** Thanks for reading, everyone! Have a great weekend, and please let me know what you'd like to read next.


	4. Fighting with Nakiris

**Author's Notes:** (Warning: Spoilers for chapter 222) Thanks for reading, everyone! I hope you enjoy it!

This was becoming a bad habit, Erina realized as she made her way down to the main kitchen at three in the morning as she had almost every night for the last week and a half. And as was usually the case, Yukihira was already in there making something.

He grinned when he saw her. Erina swallowed thickly, suddenly hyper-aware of her short nightgown and messy ponytail. "Perfect timing, Nakiri."

"Hmm. What do you have for me today?" she asked, eyeing him and the large metal pot he was stirring with a blend of fascination and disdain. Considering the ordeal he'd just gone through to get the former third seat on their side, Erina assumed that he'd try to get a decent amount of sleep—but clearly she'd been wrong. He never did have any sense of self-preservation.

"Coq au vin ramen," he explained before ladling her out a serving. His insanity might have been rubbing off on her, but the French inspired dish actually sounded like a good idea.

Erina took a deep breath before sampling the rich soup, flavored with chicken bones and red wine. It tasted of summer nights in Paris—of walks along the Seine and stolen moments in the shade of the Musee d'Orsay. And that was only the broth.

"Have you ever even been to France?" she asked, breathless.

"Nope."

 _Damn him._ Erina noted the subtle balance between the slightly acidic broth and the rich lardons. The flavors were beyond reproach. She had come to realize that in the kitchen after dark, her god tongue was entirely his creature—and oh how she hated him for it.

"So what do you think?" he asked her, grinning in that self-satisfied way of his.

"Passable," she said curtly, refusing to meet his eyes. He didn't seem completely bent on torturing her tonight, and she appreciated it. "Barely."

Usually he'd try to get a better response out of her, but Souma merely shrugged at her less than enthused reaction. Her hooded eyes and rapid breathing said all the words she refused to speak aloud. "Want me to try again? I had another idea for ramen using jerk pork."

Erina nibbled her lower lip; that sounded delicious. But she wasn't even done slurping up the contents of the bowl in front of her. Would she be able to survive another of his creations without losing her composure? "I won't be made into your guinea pig, Yukihira!" she snapped. "People pay absurd amounts of money to have me take even one bite of their dishes."

"You seem to be enjoying it, though," he pointed out. "Isn't that why you keep coming down here at night?"

"Absolutely not! Nothing would make me happier than to stop running into you down here," she said with a scoff and an exaggerated hair flip.

"Alright. Just pretend I'm not here." Then he took out another gargantuan pot and started mincing garlic with thyme and scotch bonnet peppers.

Erina frowned. He had let the argument go a lot faster than she expected, perhaps faster than she wanted. Was something wrong?

Deciding to take advantage of the reprieve he'd granted her, Erina was able ignore him for all of five minutes before she glanced his way. He looked more exhausted than she had ever seen him. "Why don't you just go to bed? Tadokoro-san said you collapsed earlier today."

"Well, technically that was yesterday."

"Not the point."

Souma merely shrugged, the tired expression gone now that he knew she was looking. "I bounced back," he explained. "But going against Megishima made me realize there are all types of ramen out there."

"Naturally he would." Erina knew that by their third year, each student chef at Tōtsuki settled into a specialization—and senior Elite Ten members held complete hegemony over their specialties. She could hardly fathom how the former third seat had been convinced by anything the likes of Yukihira had to say. "But that still doesn't change the fact that you need sleep to function...not that you were ever all that functional to begin with."

"Don't worry about it. I never needed much sleep." Then he flashed her an easy grin—one, she assumed, that was meant to convince her of his infallibility, that he had an easy solution stored away for every potential setback. It was the expression of a charismatic leader trying to assuage the worries of a subordinate, and she resented it immensely. He may have had all the other rebels—hell, everyone else in their graduating class—spellbound, but he could not fool her.

"Okay, let's get one thing straight between us," she said, her voice level, her expression made of steel. "In general, I'm clearly far above you. But in this one particular situation, you and I are equals. I am _not_ one of your adoring fans—"

"Nakiri, what are you—"

"Let me finish," she said, meeting his eyes with a defiant amethyst stare. "You know that unwavering faith in your ability to fix things that everyone else seems to be depending on? I don't have it. At all. I see things the way they are. If you keep overworking yourself like this, you're going to end up in the hospital, and then my father will get everything he wants. It is so arrogant for you to think that despite everything Isshiki-senpai, and Takumi, and even Hisako and Alice and the others have been doing, the fate of the culinary world rests on whether _you_ can perfect two or three extra dishes in the middle of the night!"

For a good minute afterwards, Souma only looked at her. For someone who rarely said what she meant, Nakiri could give a damn good lecture when she wanted to. "You're right. I'm sorry if that's how I came off."

"Really?" Erina blinked once. Twice. She hadn't expected it to be that easy. "I mean…just try to be reasonable—limit it to one or two all-nighters a week."

As soon as she left the kitchen, Erina ran into Kuga-senpai loitering in the hallway. She could tell from the smirk on his face that he had heard everything.

"Is there something you need, senpai?" she asked.

"My snack time is right after yours," he explained. "But maybe I should just head back upstairs."

"Do as you see fit," the Nakiri heiress said, nonplussed, before continuing down the hall.

"You know, Nakiri-kun," he said to her retreating back. "You have a really strange way of letting your feelings show. You should be more honest."

"Good night, Kuga-senpai." Erina continued until she reached the staircase, back straight, head held high. And then, in the comfort of her own bedroom, she buried her face in a thick down pillow and screamed.

* * *

It was well past four when they came back from their late night mission, this one to break the Azami faction's monopoly over the ingredient supply chains in Hokkaido. Usually Yuki and Ryouko and the others slept through the clandestine departures and early arrivals. But this time they were all disturbed by the sounds of a largely one-sided argument.

"You guys are so stupid. Insanely stupid!" Alice said.

"Okay," Kurokiba replied, set on appeasing her.

"But it's not okay. You could have gotten yourselves killed!"

"Do you understand how much money that was?" Hayama inserted.

"It wasn't even that much money!" Alice shouted. "Back me up here, Hishoko."

"It actually was a lot of money, Alice," Hisako told her, and since Alice was paying these bribes out of her checking account, she was very glad that it hadn't been stolen. "I'm going to go get some ice."

When the Arato heiress went up to the breakfast nook to retrieve said ice, she happened upon the usual eavesdropping crowd. Ikumi, Yuki, and Ryouko were joined by Marui and Ibusaki. All five of them were sipping tea— _Hisako's_ tea, mind you—and wearing intrigued expressions. The sounds of the argument were still wafting up, loud and clear.

" _But what if they had been armed?"_

" _They weren't."_

" _But what if they had been? You would be dead, Ryo-kun!"_

Hisako grabbed an ice bucket and a few dish rags, sighing. "You guys have until this bucket is full to ask your questions." She pushed the button on the fridge. "Go."

"What the hell happened?" Ikumi asked.

"The person we were supposed to make a deal with actually set us up to get robbed."

"Are you alright, secretary-chi?" Yuki questioned, raising her hand like a child in school.

"Alice and I stayed in the car the whole time," she explained. "We didn't even know what happened until it was over."

"But Kurokiba and Hayama…" Ryouko let the question hang in the air.

"Were stupid enough to try and fight their way out? Yes."

"Boys are so dumb," Yuki said. "I definitely agree with Alice-chi now."

"Yoshino-san, that's a lot of money to just lose," Ibusaki interjected.

"What happened to the money, anyway?" Mauri asked.

"We still have it somehow." Hisako finished her tale just as the ice bucket reached its capacity. "But naturally Alice is not happy."

"And you?" Ikumi asked.

Hisako sighed. She really hadn't had a chance to react with Alice barely letting anyone get a word in edgewise. She supposed she was just glad nothing really bad happened. "Honestly, I'm just ready for bed at this point. Goodnight, all."

She descended the stairs to a chorus of 'goodnight Hishoko' and was surprised to find the living room silent.

"Alice decided to take the argument back to her room so she could get comfortable," Hayama told her.

"Typical." Hisako rolled her eyes at the revelation. "How'd you manage to escape?"

"She has tunnel vision when she's mad, and you know how she is with Kurokiba. All I had to do was stand on the other side of the room."

Hisako actually laughed a little. "You're the worst." Wordlessly she wrapped some of the ice up in dishrags and handed it to him. "She's right, you know. Dramatic, but right."

"Probably." He took the DIY ice pack from her, thanked her. "Luckily none of those gentlemen in the pub hit as hard as you do."

"Oh, shut up." She had to admit, there might have been some truth to it. She had spent years taking self-defense classes so she would be able to protect Erina in case of an emergency. However, she would have never guessed that her right hook packed such a punch while she was sleeping. "Where'd you learn how to fight, anyway?" she asked. While Kurokiba had always served as Alice's enforcer, she didn't imagine that Hayama got much practice in ass kicking while watering the plants in Professor Shiomi's greenhouse.

"Here and there," he said with a sigh, and Hisako knew that she wouldn't get a more detailed response out of him. Not tonight, anyway.

"Wanna do me a favor?" she asked before realizing that the question made her sound a bit too much like Alice.

"Depends on what."

"Go give Alice and Kurokiba the rest of this ice before it melts." She, for one, was not getting drawn into her tirade again.

"Not happening," he told her. "Ask for something else."

Hisako smirked. He should not have said that. "You know that dish you made for the finals of the autumn elections…"

Two hours, several cups of expensive tea, and a plate of pacific saury carpaccio later, they were found asleep on the living room couch. This time, at least, nobody was punched.


	5. Love and Other Spectator Sports

Nakiri Alice stood perplexed in her bedroom on the luxury train she and the other rebels were using to race around Hokkaido. It had been over twenty minutes since her mid-morning shower, and she still had no breakfast in front of her.

She had texted Ryo the night before with her request—crepes stuffed with fresh fruit and sweet cream—and he had responded with his usual "k." So, finding the current delay suspect, she dressed and made her way over to the breakfast nook, where she expected to see Sakaki-san and the others watching her assistant put overtime into his workout.

"Morning, Alice-chi," Yuki called out, waving.

"Morning, ladies."

"Would you like some coffee?"

"No thanks," Alice said, walking over to the rail overlooking the exercise room. "Did Ryo-kun just leave?"

"He was never down there," Ryoko explained as she flipped through a fashion magazine.

"We figured that you had sent him on some errand."

Alice pondered this idea for a moment. It sounded right, but as she thought back to the night before, she knew that she hadn't. "I'll catch up with you all later."

She walked back down the stairs wearing a pensive frown. For as long as she had known him, Ryo's morning workout had been sacrocent. He would never miss it— _and_ forget about her breakfast—for no reason.

Once she was in front of his door, Alice knocked twice, and didn't wait three milliseconds for a response before opening it.

Her aide was inside, still sleeping. Ever since they were kids, even the smallest intrusions into Ryo's space would wake him up—and leave him _seriously_ annoyed. But this time, Alice was able to get away with poking his cheek some—a cheek, she noticed, that felt a lot warmer than it should have been—before his garnet eyes shot open.

"About time," she said.

"Ojou―" Ryo's voice caught on the word, and he started coughing into the crook of his elbow. Alice winced a little at how bad he sounded.

She went over to his dresser and pulled a black sweatshirt from one of the drawers.

"What's this?" he asked after she dropped the garment on his legs.

"Put it on," she said. "I don't know what you were thinking sleeping with your chest exposed when you're coughing like that."

"It was hot."

"That's because you have a fever," she said, placing her hand back on his cheek to make sure. "Why didn't you tell me you were feeling sick?" Alice hadn't intended to pout when she asked this, but her cheeks began to puff up all the same.

"I'm not sick," he said before launching into another brutal coughing fit.

"Clearly," Alice said, as she rubbed small circles onto his chest through the sweater. "I'm excusing you from your duties for the rest of the week. Take your time to recover, and let me know if you need anything."

Ryo sighed, his eyes drawing closed momentarily. "Ojou, you really don't have to do anything. I'll get you your breakfast—"

"Absolutely not!" She waved him off immediately. "Naturally, I'll take care of you. Just tell me what you want—more blankets, soup, tea."

"Ojou—"

Alice rolled her eyes. "You're always like this. Stop being so stubborn, and let me help you, already."

Finally, he sighed. "Just do what you want, then."

That was probably the best and worst thing he could've said.

"Alright. I'll bring you some tea. Rest up til then, Ryo-kun," she said with a brilliant smile before sashaying back out of his room.

It was a universally known fact that Nakiri Alice did not do anything halfway, so if Ryo wanted tea, she was going to bring him the very best tea available—even if it didn't exactly belong to Alice.

She was in the main kitchen cart, rifling through Hisako's ornate boxes of medicinal herbs and tea blends, when the pink haired girl in question entered. She had apparently been in the middle of a phone call when she made the discovery.

"Hold on for a minute, please, Erina-sama," Hisako said before lowering the phone and approaching her. "Alice, what in the world are you doing with my things?"

"You know, Hishoko, when you decide to put stuff in the kitchen, things get mixed around, and it all sort of becomes communal property."

"My initials are carved into the box!" she huffed, her left eye beginning to twitch. "Tell me this isn't another one of your crazy schemes to get me together with Hayama."

At this, Alice giggled a little bit. She was always doing good works for the well-being of her friends. "Not everything is about your love life, Hishoko, although I do think your pending hookup is inevitable."

"You're really not helping your case right now."

"So serious." She shook her head at the other girl. "Also, I'm only touching your precious tea leaves because Ryo-kun has come down with something."

"You should have just asked, then," Hisako said, her voice laced with an omnipresent sort of annoyance.

"Your room was far, and I don't have my phone on me," Alice explained with a shrug. "Anyway, what would make him feel better?"

"Well that depends on what's wrong with him. What are the symptoms?"

"He has a cough, and a fever," she said.

Wordlessly, Hisako went through her jars and boxes—in a far gentler and more methodical manner than Alice had done—blending together a few different herbs and placing the mixture inside a small infuser. "Give this to Kurokiba-kun," she said, "And please refrain from touching my personal items in the future."

Alice shook her head as she watched the pink haired girl go, quickly resuming her conversation with Erina. "You wouldn't have been so mad if it were Hayama-kun using your stuff."

* * *

Later that evening, as Hisako sat in one of the lounge carts, reading the latest volume of her favorite academic journal, she wore a satisfied smirk. With Alice fussing over Kurokiba all day, she had gotten more peace and quiet than she ever had since the rebels left for Hokkaido.

"Are you enjoying this too, Arato?" Hayama Akira asked as he took a seat across from her with a black coffee in one hand and a crisp newspaper in the other.

"Thoroughly," Hisako replied before wrinkling her nose. "How can you drink coffee at this hour?"

Hayama shrugged, then took a sip. "It doesn't keep you up unless you want it to."

"Of all the unscientific nonsense," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Not that we have anywhere to be tomorrow anyway."

"I think the train is stopping in Asahikawa," he told her. "It might be nice to get away from these people for awhile."

Hisako's eyes widened fractionally at this. She wasn't sure when the "us" had formed between them, when they had stopped viewing each other as annoyances or adversaries and banned together as the only sane, sober-minded individuals on this train full of expelled Totsuki rebels.

She was poised to respond in an ambivalent sounding manner when Alice popped her head in the room.

"Hey, Hishoko, do you mind if I use your diffuser and some essential oils?"

"No problem," she replied. "I'll get it for you."

"Oh, no need. I'm already using it. I just didn't want you to see it gone and get mad again."

"Alice, what the hell—"

"Anyway, goodnight you two lovebirds." And with that, Nakiri Alice was gone.

Akira shook his head, chuckling a bit. "How have you not strangled her yet?"

"I practice mindfulness," she said with a sigh. Then after a pause, "We are definitely getting out of here tomorrow."

"It's strange seeing her like that, though," Hayama said.

"What do you mean?"

"She usually only lifts a finger in the name of self-indulgence," he noted. "You think there's blackmail potential?"

"I doubt it," Hisako replied, though she would love having something to leverage in order to make the Nakiri heiress stop teasing them. "She has no shame, and everyone already knows she loves him."

She wondered offhandedly what that was like, to care for someone so much that your nature rewrites itself when they need you. But for now she was fine with just spectating.


End file.
